I had a mommy moment yesterday.
As a mom of 4 boys under 7 I felt overwhelmed, inadequate, and a little robbed of humanity. I had a pity party. I had to rush out of the house leaving my husband in charge of the little boys so that I could fix something that only I could do. I was frustrated that things don't seem to work out as planned. The house is rarely clean or in order these days. It is difficult with four little boys to keep things tidy and when things are tidy I find that I am a bit of a grouch. I cringe and growl whenever anyone begins to make a mess which is instantly and constantly.
I was at a stop light and I am sure that my face was in a complete grimace as I contemplated my state of being when a small miracle happened. I am sure that some would not consider it that but it was a moment that will forever change me.
As I sat waiting at a stop light another mom in a minivan crossed the intersection in front of me. In the brief seconds that she was in my view I noticed a few things about her. First she was a girl that I recognized. She used to come to my aerobics classes and I would sometimes see her out and about with her little ones in tow. I had 4 children under 6 at the time and she had 5 under 7 and was pregnant! She was one of the few people that I knew had it harder than me. I was never sure how she did what she did. She volunteered in the kids class room as I did. I barely managed and brought my little ones with me. She did the same.
As she passed by in a mini van yesterday I also noticed that she had one hand on the steering wheel with her head back. She looked relaxed and easy going which was in much contrast to my death grip on the steering wheel and the frown that I had dug into my skull.
The last and most important thing that I noticed is that she had on a den mother uniform for cub scouts with the little flag on the sleeve indicating that she was on her way to some function that she probably didn't have time for but organized her life in a way so that she could serve either her son that age or other kids in the community.
So three things, I knew she was a busy mom, even busier than I am, she was driving around relaxed and unfrazzled and she had on a den leader's boy scout shirt.
For some reason the image of her driving so perfectly while serving and busy did not make me feel bad or jealous or more inadequate It just made me feel inspired. We are probably under the same or near same amount of stress but her attitude was completely different than mine in that moment. She was sucking it in and enjoying life while I was pondering my imperfections. Although we have the same amount of craziness in our lives, because of our difference in attitude we were having different mommy moments. I approached the rest of my day differently. I was determined to be more graceful as a mother. I wanted to stop worrying about all the details but start drinking in the moments. I had a light go on in my head about who I wanted to be and would choose to be no matter what the circumstance.
It does go to show that you can change someone without knowing it and without doing anything special but just by driving in your car. One day maybe I will tell her about my experience :0)
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